When the Holidays Hurt
On the surface, the holidays are supposed to be about happiness, memories, and togetherness. And sometimes they are. But often, they’re also heavy, complicated, and even lonely.
What makes this season so tricky is how much it revolves around family. If family has been unkind, abusive, or simply absent, that spotlight can feel blinding. It’s not because we’re weak—it’s because deep down, we know we deserve more and better. And facing that contrast can hurt.
For many, this time also means a temporary break from therapy. That can feel unsettling. Missing your therapist is completely normal and expected—especially when therapy has become a consistent, safe space where you feel seen and understood. The absence of that support can make the holidays feel even heavier.
Sometimes, going home—or even just being around family—can bring up old pain. Familiar spaces can awaken memories, flashbacks, and sensations from times you’ve worked hard to move past. If that happens, pause. Ground yourself in the present moment. Notice your surroundings:
What do you see around you?
What sounds can you hear?
What can you touch that feels safe or comforting?
Can you smell something grounding—a candle, lotion, or cup of tea?
Your senses are anchors; they remind your body that you are here, now, and safe.
Tips for Navigating the Holidays
Incorporate movement. Take a walk around the block, do gentle stretching, or any form of movement that helps release tension.
Seek supportive company. Spend time with people who make you feel safe. Invite yourself over for a meal or plan a coffee with someone you trust.
Create small comforts. Prepare good books or simple activities that soothe and distract.
Plan little joys. Give yourself something to look forward to each day—it doesn’t need to be big. Even a favorite snack or a cozy show counts.
Lean on your therapist’s guidance. If you’re in therapy, discuss strategies before the break. Maybe plan a check-in message, a list of coping tools, or journaling prompts for the in-between weeks.
A Gentle Reminder
The holiday season is just one month—it can feel long, but it will pass. Life will return to its regular rhythm. Until then, breathe through the moments, take it one day at a time, and remember: you are not alone in finding this season hard. Missing your therapist, feeling triggered, or needing more grounding doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It means you’re human, healing, and doing the best you can with what’s here.
